I’m in two minds about this. One huge part of me wishes I had stopped searching for perfection seven years ago and just bitten the bullet on this thing. But, another huge part of me is spurred on by my friends, family and colleagues – they are constantly checking in with me about what I’ve been making and when they will be able to see it on my blog. Well, I am finally here, and what better way to christen Kale Mary than by starting with a breakfast meal featuring kale? Not to mention breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
It took me a while to find scrambled tofu nirvana – almost as long as it took me to get this blog up and running – some too dry, others too plain, and the rest too (forgive me) moist. Here I am today with a recipe that is not too dry, not too moist and the complete opposite of boring: green eggs (aka gluten-free, vegan scrambled tofu) and red onion jam. Where’s the ham? I’m not quite there on that front but onion jam sure does the trick in the meantime.
OK, so it might look like there are a few ingredients here (hey, did I mention it is a super quick recipe) but when you break it down, most of what’s needed will be already sitting in your pantry waiting to be used for this exact moment. Don’t have nutritional yeast or matcha? Buy it. Seriously, what are you doing? These ingredients will change your life.
Green eggs (aka simple scrambled tofu)
Serves 3-4
1 tbsp coconut oil
4 leaves of kale, finely sliced (dino/tuscan kale is preferred but curly will do the job)
250g organic non-GMO tofu, crumbled with your hands or a fork (you don’t want uniform pieces)
2 tsp nutritional yeast
2 tsp matcha
1 tbsp + 2 tsp water
1 tbsp + 2 tsp gluten-free soy sauce
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp powdered vegetable stock (optional)
1/4 tsp ground turmeric
1/4 tsp salt
Pinch cracked black pepper
Small handful of chives, finely sliced (optional)
Small handful of flat leaf parsley, finely chopped, to garnish
Mix crumbled tofu with nutritional yeast, matcha, water, soy sauce, garlic powder and turmeric, cumin and stir until combined.
Heat coconut oil in a shallow pan on medium. Add finely sliced kale until gently wilted and darkening in colour (a few minutes) then add the tofu and mix through before adding the extra tablespoons of both soy sauce and water.
Stir occasionally for 8-10 minutes ensuring the tofu is covered by the matcha and spices, and it is not catching on the bottom of the pan.
Season with salt and pepper, stir through chives (if using) then take off the heat. Garnish with parsley and serve hot or cold with red onion jam, avocado and toast.
Red onion jam
Makes 1.5 cups
1 tbsp olive oil
3 red onions, finely sliced
Pinch of salt
1/4 cup coconut sugar
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
Heat the oil in a wide-based pan on a medium heat. Add onions and sprinkle with salt, stirring until onion has started to soften.
Add sugar and stir around the pan until it has dissolved. Then, add the red wine vinegar and mix through.
Turn heat to low and cook uncovered for 25-30 minutes until onions grow darker in colour and become sticky and caramelised. Remove from heat, let cool and jar.
Kale Mary 
When I lived in China, I learned how to say “green onions stirred with eggs” and “tomatoes stir fried with eggs” because those are two very popular dishes. Then in Chongqing I noticed that a lot of old women were selling carry away boxes of spicy mashed potatoes, so I used them to make scrambled eggs and hashbrowns and told my Chinese friends I had made “potatoes stir fried with eggs” and they thought it was the funniest thing I’d ever said in Chinese (on purpose).
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Good one! You could have made it a trend.
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